Limitation is a byword of this dimension. In the next dimension, if a man is lonely, then that man can teleport themself next to a lady. Not so in this dimension. That is why Faith is important. Faith is more invariably more valuable in bad times than it is in good times.
Certainly there is substantial evidence that taken enough hallucinogenics, one can be telepathic, that is one can view one's telepathic activities from one person to another as a tube made of very fine filmy substance. But if taken even more hallucinogenics, can one teleport themselves while in a physical body? The Native Shamans used to have dozens of legends about this. In Buri Ram Thailand, a stone sanctuary is build around the legend of a Thai Buddhist Priest named Phra Ruang, who had supernatural powers and thus teleported himself so he appeared through the floorboards of a then very powerful Cambodian tribal chief.
Indeed, the Santa Claus myth partly comes from the traditions of the Shami, where the word Shaman comes from. The Shami live in Lapland, and the shamans there would have one animal, as many shamans of all traditons worldwide do, only in this case it is a reindeer. And the mystique of this is that the shaman and the reindeer are so spiritually connected that both ingest enough hallucinogenics as a result that the two of them, as well as the sled, teleport while in the physical body, going to the same place!!!! The shaman, the reindeer and the sled are moving at the same speed as a unit, apart from the ground of the Earth around them.
That explains how Santa and the reindeer go from rooftop to rooftop so fast; they teleport while in the physical body, simultaneously!
The Santa Claus myth also illustrates how it is possible since time is an illusion, to be in more than one place, indeed, in many places simultaneously!
Later on, the Philadephia Experiment showed that all this is possible.
Indeed, in all religions, Priests have an extra set of secret esoteric duties which are not known to the public, in addition to their usual Priestly responsibilities. This involves dealing with the paranormal, guiding departed spirits into the light, excorcisms, sanctifying Holy Ground, etc.. Evil spirits will not follow one into a Church. A Church contains the Spirit of Jesus Christ, and is thus Hallowed Ground.
That is why on Sundays after Church, be it Buddhist Church, or Christian Church, I always leave spending the rest of the day feeling so so peaceful!
If one is a member of a minority, then one does not have to be depressed if one never does well in general, let alone never becomes a President of a country. The gap between the highest level a member of a visible minority can reach and the lowest level is not that great. Whereas a member of a majority could be told, "Why are you only a janitor? When someone of Nationality is the President of this country?!"
When a member of a minority turns 65, then it is no big deal. When a member of a majority turns 65, there is a sharp declination in status, unless of course, you are a politician.
"Politics is one of the only professions where you can be considered a beginner at age 50." -George Orwell
photograph: A picture of the North hill of Dawson Creek. Just visible is a triangular church. This church on a hill reminds me of the church on the hill in Prince Rupert. The Prince Rupert Church was painted pine green with white trim which probably would not be a bad idea for this chuch on the hill in this town.
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POLICE BLOTTER 8 a comedy
chapter one
For about 50 years, nations around this planet have been celebrating 'Special Games' in which people with physical handicaps have gotten a chance to compete in Olympics style sports. Then there was an outcry amongst people with mental disabilities, and even those who were criminally insane lobbied to gain what they felt was their Constitutional Right to compete in sports.
A 'Special Mental Winter Games' was created to spotlight the incipient talents of those who were mentally disabled. This was a generalized category and regular harmless garden variety stellazine mentalcases were competing against those who were criminally insane. Some of the athletes came from British Columbia's Essondale Mental Institute for the Criminally Insane.
One athlete named David Rothbury, was there because he opened an ice cream shop. Nothing wrong with that, really, but on the menu were ice creams flavours with such names as "cunt", "cock", "asshole", "period" etc. Names that did not leave much to the imagination. These icecreams would be typically flavoured with their predictable counterpart component ingredients consistent with the philosophical ethos behind those deleteriously Freudian flavours. "Cunt" was flavoured with chicken soup stock, a hint of Thai fish sauce, and strawberry essence. "Asshole" was a hollow wafer cone that was filled with peanut butter flavoured ice cream. "Cock", "-for the ladies", was flavoured with some Thai fish sauce, and some sesame oil. Other flavours included "sperm" and "felch"; felch being "the oral retrieval of semen from the anus", as the menu explained made with a blend of vanilla icecream and peanut butter fudge.
It was not long before the Police visited these premises.
RCMP Detective Chris Hines walked in the store and asked the owner, the icecream man David Rothbury to show him the menu saying to the owner, "I hope I am not going to see anything here that's going to piss me off!"
Well, they were duly outraged and ordered the store closed immediately and placed the owner in what is called "Car 50" in which a person rides in an RCMP staff car with a psychiatrist and then driven to a psyche ward where he is placed under 30 days observation. Years later, and the owner of the store was now a proud participant in the 'Special Mental Winter Games'!
Another athlete was Doctor Carl Pris who suffered under amnesia. He also was undergoing a slowly progressing case of Alzheimer's. This doctor got committed when a patient, who fell into a ravine and broke his jaw got his kidney removed instead. This patient woke up and saw that his jaw was still busted, and even more alarming, there was a hideous longtitudinous surgical scar recently sutured running along his abdomen. In a split second while in his office, in his usual state of high delerium, Doctor Carl Pris switched the medical records of two patients. The other patient who had been discharged earlier this morning, poor guy, was now sitting at home and when he first awoke, he felt underneath his shirt at the site of the supposed kidney operation, felt no scars or stitch marks and thought, "That is a marvel of medical stitchery. This is the best stitch up I have ever known about! It is amazing what modern technology is capable of!". Actually, he was dying, and as he lifted his shirt to further inspect the surgeon's handiwork, he was horrified as he saw that his torso in a state of half necrosy as the flesh around his kidney, now poisoned by septicaemia had turned black. And as he looked in the mirror he rubbed his slightly painful jaw, now thudding with a dull ache as the novocaine was wearing off, and that was when he saw that his jaw was wired -for apparently no reason!
There were other athletes.
One of the athletes was a billionaire, Bob Lightliner who was involved in a bizarre stunt where he rented a couple of BC Ferries at night, he held a bizarre version of an Easter Egg hunt except it was not Easter and the hunt was not for coloured eggs but a $100,000 diamond ring, had knocked out the lights and fitted them with actual corpses and a stuntman who was encouraged to beat anyone up he could find while he walked throughout the ferryboat disguised as a zombie. And recently in the news, there was a ferry accident when a state of the art, modern ferryboat capsized and sank. The news reported that all on board had perished.
And another participant was a structural engineer, Otto Casters who decided to raise the bar once and for all and build the ultimate roller coaster. This roller coaster was to have a 100 storey drop; the very first hill. He predicted that 50% of the riders would and should die of shock and sheer abject terror in order for it to be a top class World class roller coaster. See, he reasoned, if 0% of the people died, it would be no good, but also, if 100% of the riders died, it would be no good as well! The first hill was a hundred storeys, but the second hill was no slouch either at 90 storeys, the third hill was 75 storeys. If the first hill didn't kill them, he figured, the second or the third hill would. This is similar to Dan Brown's 'The Da Vinci Code' when the albino had to give the floorboard of the subrosa about four good taps as the first tap did nothing, the second tap yielded a hairline fracture, the third tap a major crack, and the fourth tap actually breaking the ground vault.
The entire edifice, looked at from a distance had a Tim Burton, offwordly quality to it like something out of a dream.
The roller coaster had been largely dismantled leaving behind a few roller coaster cars, and it was converted into makeshift bleachers, for the site of the Special Mental Winter Games was very close to this dismantled railed structure much to the chagrin of Otto Casters.
A customs officer, George Anderson was the lone man working at an isolated border post. Cabin fever inevitably set in for him, and so he expertly stencilled an official looking sign stating in effect that all travellers had to have proof of name, country of residence, occupation, and he added another line to the visitors prospectus, "as well as proof of gender". Travellers who passed through his customs kiosk did not flinch as they were asked to pull down their pants in order to "provide proof of gender". They thought that travellers were already pulling down their pants for customs officers for other reasons anyway. What tripped him up was that he adamantly refused to believe that one of his female travellers was really a woman when he demanded her to pull down her drawers. It turns out that she was the wife of a high powered politician!
Captain Richard Smith was a boat captain operating a Canadian Steamship freighter. In order to enter the United States one had to, as stated on the nautical regulations, "24 hours prior to arriving". However, like the Mark Twain quote,
"It isn' what you don't know
That gets you in trouble
It's what you know for sure
That really is not."
Well he was under the impression that the regulations stated to notify the United States ships registrar "24 times an hour"! And that is what he pressed on to do. Calling up 24 otherwise off-duty members of his to man 24 designated extra telephones, he called the ships registrar every 2.3 minutes. Naturally the U.S. ships registrar was not too crazy about this. Even as the U.S. Coast Guard boarded his ship and was hauling him away in handcuffs, Captain Richard Smith was still barking orders to his crew to continue the "24 times an hour" procedures to notify the U.S. ships registrar of their imminent arrival.
chapter two
Doctor Cerebus Amidala MD was medically officiating at these games. William Noble had signed on to these games as a volunteer job during his gap year. These games took place in California, so William Noble got a chance to travel from his homeland of Canada to the mystical California.
These games included the sport in which athletes had to carry a rifle strapped to their back and ski to a target area where they, lying prone, would shoot a target. This caused much nervousness and many speculated that despite any Constitutional imperative to include convalescing and to be released mental patients into the spectrum of athletics, mental patients are too dangerous and someone would likely be killed. In fact, members of the media were taking bets that this would indeed happen.
At this event with the rifle and the skis, many of the athletes aimed their guns, veering each and every which way, even temporarily levelling the muzzle of the gun at the audience, but as it turned out, each athlete did eventually correctly get into required position and each had a go at the target.
These 'Special Mental Winter Games' included the criminally insane, so there was no surprise when a corpse was found recently murdered under some bleachers. This of course caused people to whisper whether or not there should be any more games.
These patients however, were in the parole stage of their psychiatric internment and only when they were in this semi-exonerated status would they be allowed to have priveleges and freedom to the extent of taking part in public athletic sports. These athletes already had weekend passes.
Constable Chris Hines of the RCMP was called in to investigate. This should have come as no surprise to anyone, considering the natures of the participating athletes.
There are undercover cops everywhere. William Noble first encountered Detective Chris Hines when he was walking through the posh snow covered village. William Noble saw a sports bag somewhat hidden away, slightly obscured by some bushes. He picked the bag up and out of the bushes, thinking that someone probably does not want this, and thought of seeing what was in it when a voice said, "Put that down!" It was a tall, athletic guy who looked a lot like actor Matthew Modine.
Later on, when William Noble was questioned by the Police, he recognized Detective Chris Hines when he said, "You're the one who told me to put down the gym bag! I didn't know that you are a cop!"
chapter 3
Amongst fishermen and sailors there are the terms white water, green water, and black water. White water is when just a little bit of water washes on deck, water so thin it presents itself as a white spray that covers the floor of the deck. Green water is when more water, deeper water washes on deck. Black water is when the entire boat sinks underneath for just a second, but the way that the weight happens to be distributed at the time, the boat just bobs up to the surface and floats again, like a cork. Imagine the fear and the terror of a boat captain during times of black water, not knowing whether or not the whole boat is going to sink and whether or not he is going to die.
In fact, what actually happened was that indeed, the ferry did sink and resurface again, an incident of black water. "A miracle!" exclaimed the passengers, but a few seconds later, the second time it went under, it was a much slower sinking, it was listing for quite some time before the end. Needless to say, it did not come up.
As it was sinking, an audacious punk of a teenager stood on the prow and yelled, "I'm the King of the World!" In spite of it all, a few passengers laughed. When the ferryboat sank, it was beyond black water, in fact that boat was dead in the water. Bob Lightliner was going to be at it again. In fact, Bob Lightliner, with his money had rented an underwater sub, like the kind that Robert Ballard used to discover the Titanic off Cape Race near NewFoundland. Bob Lightliner knew the passenger manifest intimately, being in the nautical business, albeit in an extremely offhand way. He knew that there was one missing passenger. During a weekend pass, he arranged to bring the passenger to the Special Winter Games Village, temporarily, until it could be moved to his next 'Easter Egg hunt' soiree. He placed it in one of the old roller coaster cars at the rollercoaster/bleachers near the village.
Otto Casters saw the body and thought that they would blame him for it so he moved the body to an out of the way place under the bleachers where it was found. But he was blamed for it anyways. At least he was one of the suspects.
If William Noble had not picked up the bag, nobobdy would have noticed it. But after William Noble put down the bag, at the Police Officer's command, the Constable in question himself, Chris Hines did indeed decide to have a peek at what was in the bag. What was there was incriminating and conclusive evidence as to Bob Lightliner's salvaging of a body that was supposed to be missing including plans, photos, and gloves and pictures of the remote submarine.
Detective Chris Hines was at the funeral of the man found under the bleachers. That is when he saw the surprised look of Bob Lightliner who was surprised to see the Police Officer there. Didn't he know that Police Officers always attend the funeral of those murdered to see who would or would not be there? Well, Otto Casters was not there. Why should he be? The Constable walked up to the ferryboat exhibition master of ceremonies and said, "We know it is you. You might as well give up."
Otto Casters tried unsuccessfully to kill himself that night. But when he awoke in the hospital after having his stomach pumped and treated with an antidote to the barbiturates he had ingested, Constable Chris Hines was there at the side of his bed. What a violation! he thought. But it is also standard operating procedures for a Police Officer to follow a suspect into a hospital room as much as it is his duty to attend the funeral of murder victims. Otto Casters was placed under arrest right there on the spot!
As it turns out, fears of mental patients murdering people were unfounded and it was decided that permission for mental patients to take parts in sports was to be a Standing Right.
Dean Noble
March 2006
Dawson Creek BC
CANADA
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A NIGHT TO REMEMBER
"What could be greater, my girl's a greeter!" -Peter Scolari, 'Newhart'
Recently, the Dawson Creek Chamber of Arts and its collective council of artists and musicians put on a play at the local performing arena, the Unchagah Hall. The talent in that room all added up and weighed would equal megatons of talent!
The evening's renditions included an assorted and not at all sordid variety of classical music samplers including suites from the Marriage of Figaro, and Faust and included lovely arias sang by female sopranos whose voice resounded throughout the entire hall, filling every square inch and every last corner with resplendently lovely sound. There were male operatos whose booming voices basso profundo contra punto in mezzo forte were also magnificent. There was a symphony, or symphonette rather, in attendance and according to the playbill, over half of them were from Vancouver.
And the costumes were spectacular. There were displays of 16th Century, 17th Century, 18th Century, and 19th Century costumes.
My friend, Mr. Charles Kux-Kardos was in this play. He was a narrator and a waiter, what could be greater?!
One would not think that there would be so much talent in such a small town. It is much more of an intellectual challenge to sing classical music than it is rock music.
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HO-LE CHOW, CLUB 928, BURNED
"All dragons knew their treasures down to the last ounce, and old Smaug was no exception." -J.R.R. Tolkien, 'The Hobbit'
Last night, on April 4, 2006 at 3:30 am, I was awakened by a knock at the door. A neighbour, Doug Adams took the valiant foresight to wake up an entire wing of the hotel that I am now living at to get us to evacuate because there was a fire next door at the Chinese restaurant slash nightclub called HoLe Chow, and Club 928 respectively.
That fire was huge. In fact, it was nothing less than a Dantean leviathan inferno, like something out of a nightmare! The flames leaped through the roof of the one storey building about a hundred feet high. At one point, the place looked like a great big flaming orange, in the night! I was, for about 10 minutes seriously worried. I was worried about the hotel I was living at. I thought of the Elizabeth Apartments, which burned down in Prince Rupert in a gross conflagration last year, and the hotel in which I am currently residing was built around the same time as the Elizabeth Apartments.
The roof was one that was tarred. Tar doesn't help! And all the booze that was in the nightclub probably acted as an accelerant at that time, and booze certainly does not help either!
There was at least a 10 foot space that was the alley between the two buildings. The firemen had taken the precautionary measures, I assume to wet the surrounding buildings and to keep them wet. Thank God there was no wind, or the Radio Shack next door to my hotel would have gone down in flames as well.
When Vancouver burned in the 1880's, the fire was so fast such that it was "faster than a man can run". I thought about this historical tidbit as I watched this pyre burn higher and higher.
I thought about the fire. Fires burn outward and when there is nothing left to burn, start burning inward. What started the fire? Was it someone smoking tobacco, or even crack in the washroom and threw out their not fully stubbed out cigarette butt in a garbage can full of papers? That would do it. Perhaps it was a grease fire in the kitchen. Restaurant kitchens everywhere use propane stoves and almost never electric stoves because electricity is more expensive than natural gas. Something like that would not help in a fire! I mean once the gas main lit up...
The place had a basement. That is probably all flooded with water now!
The people who own the Chinese restaurant absolutely do not seem like the people who would torch their own premises as part of a fire insurance scam. The Chinese people in Dawson Creek, as a rule, are really nice people.
It will all come out in the wash. The other possibility is that this may be arson, but firefighters have techniques to look for the presence of accelerants in the middle of a fire site. They would have techniques to know where the fire started, indeed they may send soil samples to test for the presence of gasoline, etc.
The intensity of the fire was so contrived that one could find scraps of incinerated wood about a full one-block radius of the fire.
I hope that nobody died in that fire.
Will a suspect, that is, if the cause of the fire was human and accidental or willful be produced? Or maybe no suspect will be produced because the fire was a result of non-human causes, like a short circuit near the fuse box. Nightclubs use a lot of electricity what with the speakers, and the lights, etc.
The fire was finally put out at around 5:30 this morning. The site is now a smouldering ruins. It looks as if Smaug the Dragon had flew over the place and breathed on it.
CJDC News did mention the fire. They said that many buildings in Dawson Creek are existing under 1950's fire codes and that these buildings, since they were built before the revised fire codes were simply 'grandfathered' in. To install a sprinkler system in a building would cost from $50,000 - $100,000.
Arson is not being ruled out but it is too early to make any conclusive statements. The RCMP have control of the site now as they are starting their investigation.
coincidence: I mention Dante in this posting. The very night that I wrote this posting, the night after the fire, 'The Rick Mercer Report' was on, and it had a skit called 'Dante's Surplus'.
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photograph: This is the Dawson Creek museum.
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May Your Thoughts Be Noble,
Dean Noble
