The Dean Noble Zone.
Northwest Film Nugget 2
Telephones.
This blog is no longer being used to show my movies. Blogs only allow so much memory space. The Dean Noble Zone is only being used for writings and photographs.
If you want to see my new movies, go to http://noblefilms.blogspot.com
Soundtrack:
New Edition - Mr Telephone Man
Ray Parker Jr - A Woman Needs Love
________________________________________________________
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Northwest Film Nugget 1
The Dean Noble Zone.
Northwest Film Nugget 1
A chicken nugget contains the meat of up to one hundred chickens. A Film Nugget contains the images of around a hundred photographs and videos.
Soundtrack:
Shakatak - Nightbirds
Van Halen - Jamie's Crying
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles - More Love
______________________________________________________
Northwest Film Nugget 1
A chicken nugget contains the meat of up to one hundred chickens. A Film Nugget contains the images of around a hundred photographs and videos.
Soundtrack:
Shakatak - Nightbirds
Van Halen - Jamie's Crying
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles - More Love
______________________________________________________
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Police Blotter 25
The Dean Noble Zone.
This is the next RCMP Police story.
_____________________________________________________________
Police Blotter 25
comedy
chapter 1
The return of Corporal Chris Hines of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to the Integrated Homicide Division had began with a running start. The work had just hit the ground running.
Earlier that morning, he looked through the mail sitting on kitchen table which his wife had left, amongst the pile of letters was a small recipe book. The title of it was Canada Cooks, but the title font was peculiar in that it was a basic handwriting scratch scrawl style and the second o of the word Cooks in the title, done in an organic type scrawl in which the o written quickly with the loop not having bothered to be completed looked more like the letter c. As a result, the writing on the cover looked more like Canada Cocks than Canada Cooks. The error was quite blatant and as a result, he threw the book into the garbage can in disgust.
At the station, the case that he got assigned to had to do with three voices recorded in a room, two sets of footprints and a pit bull. Why only two sets of footprints for two voices?
chapter 2
Ten years ago, a bank robber was trying to rob a bank. When he ran outside the bank, RCMP were already there and had surrounded the building.
The Police had all kinds of weapons with them. There were four different cops and on this day, all of them were carrying different weapons. One cop had a .38 snub nosed. One cop had a pump action rifle. One RCMP Officer had a taser and another had an ARWEN gun. The ARWEN is a less than lethal option in addtion to the taser. It fires five rounds of either wood, foam or tear gas canisters. The ARWEN stands for Anti Riot Weapon ENfield and was invented by the British Royal Small Arms Factory RSAF, in 1977.
On this occasion a wooden canister was used. It struck the bank robber damaging his second and third disc on the cervical section of the vertebrae, one of the many sections of the vertebrae including the lumbar, thoracic, etc.
ARWEN gun.
As a result, the bank robber had to wear a David Lynchian looking device called a halo vest for the rest of his life. A life that would end most unspectacularly.
Halo vest.
chapter three
In the years that followed, the bank robber Jeff Stearns served seven years and was then released. Due to a rich medical settlement that he got ironically, from suing the Police and getting generous damages from the court, he hired someone to carry him around like how the last Prince of Russia was always had a guy dressed like a sailor carry him around. The guy who carried the halo vested Jeff Stearns around was named Mr. Roberts.
The settlement that he got from the Police was ironic because he generated this money into getting vengeance on the Police. A few years after the robbery, he traced the badge number and then address of one of the RCMP who shot at him that bank robbery day. He had a gun and with him and also a pit bull. It was a strange sight. A 6' 2" tall muscular man carrying around a man wearing a halo vest. And the man wearing the halo vest holding a leash in his hand that connected to a pit bull.
The gun that Jeff Stearns had was an expensive Glock.
The muscular man kicked open the door of the apartment that one of the RCMP Officers lived in. Quite a feat of balance since he had to stand on one leg long enough to kick and all this while holding a man wearing a halo vest who was holding a dog on a leash.
Sometimes the RCMP Officer, Constable David Beaver, while working undercover would befriend criminals and bring them to his apartment and over a good supportive talk like a street friend and a few cigarettes offered, the suspects not knowing he was a cop would boast of their exploits hoping to up their street cred. Meanwhile a hidden microphone was recording the conversation. This occasion was no exception which is why they recorded three human voices in the room.
If an RCMP Officer can not escape a man carrying a handicapped man in his arms and a dog, then he is not much of a cop. On this occasion, the RCMP Officer, David Beaver was able to escape, pushing the tall man and the handicapped man with the glock out of the way. Jeff Stearns was able to fire a shot of which the bullet grazed the arm of the cop running away.
chapter 4
It was at this point that the call came into the station where RCMP Corporal Chris Hines was working. A team of SWAT cops were on the way. Corporal Chris Hines was on the way there too. His wife, Constable Melissa Hines was also there amongst the Police cordon crowd that surrounded the apartment building where Constable David Beaver lived.
The suspect Jeff Stearn appeared. He was holding the pit bull in his arms. The tall man Mr Roberts was carrying the halo vested Jeff Stearns. A job which he got $5,000 a month for. That job would soon come to an end.
The Police yelled into a megaphone for him to surrender. This lasted for a few minutes.
Then in a fluid chain of motion of events, Jeff Stearns revealed the reason why he was holding the pit bull. He used one of his hands to pull out the glock that was concealed in his chest pocket which the pit bull hid from view.
The Police saw this and drew their guns. Mr Roberts could hear the hammers clicking and a warning shot was fired that just missed Mr Roberts, Jeff Stearns and the pitbull. At this, the arm carrier concierge panicked and turned around running up the stairs. See, the front of the apartment where Constable Beaver lived had a staircase going one storey up to the front entrance.
In the movie Nick of Time, it talked about how much damage different calibers of guns will do. A .38 might or might not go through a piece of wood, but a 9 millimeter will go through a few inches of steel at a far distance away.
Mr. Roberts turned 180 degrees and high tailed it up the stairs of the front entrance. Jeff Stearns was firing at the side still seeing if he could hit one of the Police Officers. At this point, the RCMP SWAT Team cop raised his sawed off shotgun with what must be an incredible caliber, more powerful than a 9 millimeter shot off a powerful blast.
It hit the criminals in the back as they were running up the stairs, just like that scene in the French Connection. But instead of hitting one man in the back as he was running up the stairs, the bullet went through the hearts of Mr Roberts, Jeff Stearns and also the dog killing the three of them simultaneously, in an upward trajectory!
AT the time, the thought that went through his head was that this reminded the RCMP SWAT Officer of the magic bullet of the JFK shooting which went through the head, arm, heart of John Kennedy and even exited to land a shot in the chauffeur John Connelly as well.
It was another case successfully if not most spectacularly closed.
Dean Noble
Dawson Creek,
March 29, 2008
________________________________________________________
The husband and wife thing is getting to be too much. I was thinking of Columbo and his wife.
The real way to write Police stories is a cop and his partner and then sometimes working with a team of 4 or 5 other cops. All guys. Bustin' heads.
In my fictional stories Constable Chris Hines had a partner called Constable Matt Mason who was formerly with the Vancouver Police but applied for and was transfered to the RCMP. I am going to bring that character back.
I wonder if Thomas Harris was ever a cop or ever experienced being arrested because he sure knows a lot about the Police. There is the classic formula. A cop and his partner. One cop is the good cop, and one cop is the bad cop. I wonder if the good cop is always the good cop and the bad cop is always the bad cop or sometimes they alternate roles being able to turn it on and off whenever they need to.
The Police do a very important job and society would be much worse without them.
In the Spirit World, they are obviously spiritual protectors. Or people to grab you by the arm and pull you away the moment you are up to something mischievous. That happens in dreams.
_____________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
This is the next RCMP Police story.
_____________________________________________________________
Police Blotter 25
comedy
chapter 1
The return of Corporal Chris Hines of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to the Integrated Homicide Division had began with a running start. The work had just hit the ground running.
Earlier that morning, he looked through the mail sitting on kitchen table which his wife had left, amongst the pile of letters was a small recipe book. The title of it was Canada Cooks, but the title font was peculiar in that it was a basic handwriting scratch scrawl style and the second o of the word Cooks in the title, done in an organic type scrawl in which the o written quickly with the loop not having bothered to be completed looked more like the letter c. As a result, the writing on the cover looked more like Canada Cocks than Canada Cooks. The error was quite blatant and as a result, he threw the book into the garbage can in disgust.
At the station, the case that he got assigned to had to do with three voices recorded in a room, two sets of footprints and a pit bull. Why only two sets of footprints for two voices?
chapter 2
Ten years ago, a bank robber was trying to rob a bank. When he ran outside the bank, RCMP were already there and had surrounded the building.
The Police had all kinds of weapons with them. There were four different cops and on this day, all of them were carrying different weapons. One cop had a .38 snub nosed. One cop had a pump action rifle. One RCMP Officer had a taser and another had an ARWEN gun. The ARWEN is a less than lethal option in addtion to the taser. It fires five rounds of either wood, foam or tear gas canisters. The ARWEN stands for Anti Riot Weapon ENfield and was invented by the British Royal Small Arms Factory RSAF, in 1977.
On this occasion a wooden canister was used. It struck the bank robber damaging his second and third disc on the cervical section of the vertebrae, one of the many sections of the vertebrae including the lumbar, thoracic, etc.
ARWEN gun.
As a result, the bank robber had to wear a David Lynchian looking device called a halo vest for the rest of his life. A life that would end most unspectacularly.
Halo vest.
chapter three
In the years that followed, the bank robber Jeff Stearns served seven years and was then released. Due to a rich medical settlement that he got ironically, from suing the Police and getting generous damages from the court, he hired someone to carry him around like how the last Prince of Russia was always had a guy dressed like a sailor carry him around. The guy who carried the halo vested Jeff Stearns around was named Mr. Roberts.
The settlement that he got from the Police was ironic because he generated this money into getting vengeance on the Police. A few years after the robbery, he traced the badge number and then address of one of the RCMP who shot at him that bank robbery day. He had a gun and with him and also a pit bull. It was a strange sight. A 6' 2" tall muscular man carrying around a man wearing a halo vest. And the man wearing the halo vest holding a leash in his hand that connected to a pit bull.
The gun that Jeff Stearns had was an expensive Glock.
The muscular man kicked open the door of the apartment that one of the RCMP Officers lived in. Quite a feat of balance since he had to stand on one leg long enough to kick and all this while holding a man wearing a halo vest who was holding a dog on a leash.
Sometimes the RCMP Officer, Constable David Beaver, while working undercover would befriend criminals and bring them to his apartment and over a good supportive talk like a street friend and a few cigarettes offered, the suspects not knowing he was a cop would boast of their exploits hoping to up their street cred. Meanwhile a hidden microphone was recording the conversation. This occasion was no exception which is why they recorded three human voices in the room.
If an RCMP Officer can not escape a man carrying a handicapped man in his arms and a dog, then he is not much of a cop. On this occasion, the RCMP Officer, David Beaver was able to escape, pushing the tall man and the handicapped man with the glock out of the way. Jeff Stearns was able to fire a shot of which the bullet grazed the arm of the cop running away.
chapter 4
It was at this point that the call came into the station where RCMP Corporal Chris Hines was working. A team of SWAT cops were on the way. Corporal Chris Hines was on the way there too. His wife, Constable Melissa Hines was also there amongst the Police cordon crowd that surrounded the apartment building where Constable David Beaver lived.
The suspect Jeff Stearn appeared. He was holding the pit bull in his arms. The tall man Mr Roberts was carrying the halo vested Jeff Stearns. A job which he got $5,000 a month for. That job would soon come to an end.
The Police yelled into a megaphone for him to surrender. This lasted for a few minutes.
Then in a fluid chain of motion of events, Jeff Stearns revealed the reason why he was holding the pit bull. He used one of his hands to pull out the glock that was concealed in his chest pocket which the pit bull hid from view.
The Police saw this and drew their guns. Mr Roberts could hear the hammers clicking and a warning shot was fired that just missed Mr Roberts, Jeff Stearns and the pitbull. At this, the arm carrier concierge panicked and turned around running up the stairs. See, the front of the apartment where Constable Beaver lived had a staircase going one storey up to the front entrance.
In the movie Nick of Time, it talked about how much damage different calibers of guns will do. A .38 might or might not go through a piece of wood, but a 9 millimeter will go through a few inches of steel at a far distance away.
Mr. Roberts turned 180 degrees and high tailed it up the stairs of the front entrance. Jeff Stearns was firing at the side still seeing if he could hit one of the Police Officers. At this point, the RCMP SWAT Team cop raised his sawed off shotgun with what must be an incredible caliber, more powerful than a 9 millimeter shot off a powerful blast.
It hit the criminals in the back as they were running up the stairs, just like that scene in the French Connection. But instead of hitting one man in the back as he was running up the stairs, the bullet went through the hearts of Mr Roberts, Jeff Stearns and also the dog killing the three of them simultaneously, in an upward trajectory!
AT the time, the thought that went through his head was that this reminded the RCMP SWAT Officer of the magic bullet of the JFK shooting which went through the head, arm, heart of John Kennedy and even exited to land a shot in the chauffeur John Connelly as well.
It was another case successfully if not most spectacularly closed.
Dean Noble
Dawson Creek,
March 29, 2008
________________________________________________________
The husband and wife thing is getting to be too much. I was thinking of Columbo and his wife.
The real way to write Police stories is a cop and his partner and then sometimes working with a team of 4 or 5 other cops. All guys. Bustin' heads.
In my fictional stories Constable Chris Hines had a partner called Constable Matt Mason who was formerly with the Vancouver Police but applied for and was transfered to the RCMP. I am going to bring that character back.
I wonder if Thomas Harris was ever a cop or ever experienced being arrested because he sure knows a lot about the Police. There is the classic formula. A cop and his partner. One cop is the good cop, and one cop is the bad cop. I wonder if the good cop is always the good cop and the bad cop is always the bad cop or sometimes they alternate roles being able to turn it on and off whenever they need to.
The Police do a very important job and society would be much worse without them.
In the Spirit World, they are obviously spiritual protectors. Or people to grab you by the arm and pull you away the moment you are up to something mischievous. That happens in dreams.
_____________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Northwest Canada Show 5
The Dean Noble Zone.
Northwest Canada Show 5 part one.
Northwest Canada Show part 2 of 3.
Northwest Canada Show 5 part three of three.
The grandstand at the Dawson Creek Fairgrounds.
Soundtrack:
Part one:
Jackson Browne - Doctor My Eyes
Shalamar - I Can Make You Feel Good
Part two:
Brothers Johnson - Stomp
Lee Michaels - Do You Know What I Mean?
Part three:
Nicolette Larson - Lotta Love
Starbuck - Moonlight Feels Right
___________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Northwest Canada Show 5 part one.
Northwest Canada Show part 2 of 3.
Northwest Canada Show 5 part three of three.
The grandstand at the Dawson Creek Fairgrounds.
Soundtrack:
Part one:
Jackson Browne - Doctor My Eyes
Shalamar - I Can Make You Feel Good
Part two:
Brothers Johnson - Stomp
Lee Michaels - Do You Know What I Mean?
Part three:
Nicolette Larson - Lotta Love
Starbuck - Moonlight Feels Right
___________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Police Blotter 24
The Dean Noble Zone.
The Dean Noble weekend spectacular continues with another installment in the Police Blotter series.
____________________________________________________
Police Blotter 24
comedy
chapter 1
Corporal Chris Hines of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police was getting the transfer that he requested. He was transferring out of homicide to the General Crimes Division, a broad based department of the Police Services which had wide sweeping powers.
The Integated Homicide Investigation Team which he was a part of always dealt with murderers which is one side of the homicide investigation sciences and then there is always the gruesome sight of the murdered which is the other side of the homicide investigation sciences and the always horrid autopsies that follow. The murderers were really bad people who had bad vibes like someone met in a nightmare.
He wanted to go on to something more positive.
The television news was on. His wife was asleep in the other room. This was her day off. However, it was just about time for Corporal Chris Hines to report to work. He had to go to work in an hour.
There was a series of strange television commercials and news reports and at the end of it all, the good Detective just had to turn off the television.
There was a television commercial about travelling. They were using the refrain from the Eagles song Life in the Fast Lane over and over again. Specifically the line, "Life in the fast lane." And when the verse was sung, all of them a couple coming of out the water after swimming, walking onto a sandy beach.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a couple dressed in a regular bathing suit.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a couple dressed in business attire.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a couple dressed in 1900's bathing suits. The guy with the tank top and the long shorts and the lady with the flounces.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a pair of Muslims, the man wearing a cap and tunic and a woman in a full burkah.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a pair of astronauts in full NASA uniform."
Then there was a News Report.
"A puppy was found at the side of the road near a small town in the interior of the Province three days ago. It had been in the well for a few weeks and only a sudden flood which left the dog near drowned but had allowed its body to somehow float to the surface. The dog was struck one in the side with a car. After walking a few days, it evidently encountered a wild boar which forensic pathologists were able to find a few boar bristles embedded in the side of the dog. Later the dog had come into a person who was physically abusive but luckily the dog, even though in a state of severe physical distress had escaped that person in less than an hour. The dog was struck a couple of more times by a car. Even some guy riding a mountain bike had struck it at one point which did not help the puppies injuries." the News Anchorwoman said sarcastically which the Police Detective detected.
"The dog spent close to 72 hours in the local veterinary hospital. Hopes were good for the dogs recovery. The story was famous in the local community which the dog was found the kennel in which the dog was staying had a few visitors. Some people brought snack bones, and pigs ear chew toys. Things looked real good for that dog."
The NewsAnchorwoman paused for just a second and then said, "Yesterday the dog succumbed to its injuries and died. Incidentally, the dog's name was Lucky."
Detective Chris Hines was disgusted. Why go into all that trouble just to talk about a dead dog?
A new television commercial came on.
"Try a demo. Try a demorol."
That's it, the Police Officer thought. Off goes the T.V..
chapter 2
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police and Easter have always traditionally been closely tied. The World's Largest Easter Egg in Vegreville Alberta was designed and built in 1985 in commemoration of the 100th Anniversary of the RCMP.
On the way to the RCMP Depot, Detective Chris Hines saw a woman dressed in an Easter Bunny outfit on the city sidewalk.
He knew that she was an RCMP Officer and under that bunny uniform was a radar gun that would beep if anyone was going over the speed limit. She and other RCMP operatives handed out a lot of tickets that Easter weekend.
chapter three
At the Police Station, a call had come in. This was a call made to a landline telephone within his departmental segment of the Police Station.
Someone was at the museum. This was no ordinary night at the museum. This culprit had evaded the sophisticated laser lights like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment. In fact, the culprit was a woman who was a Middle Eastern skilled ballerina and rock climber working in league with a group of Palestinian terrorists.
The object stolen was a coprolite which is a fancy word for Dinosaur shit. When Chris Hines heard that, he didn't believe it. All that money, all that time, all that planning only to steal a piece of shit.
However, the piece of shit in question belonged to the extremely rare Etricerotops.
This was a larger version of the classic triceratops, a dinosaur so large that a Doctor of the University of Alberta said that its head was as big as a SmartCar. This Dinosaur in which only one specimen had ever been found was fortunate in its demise enough to leave a general pile of petrified dinosaur shit near its deathsite to gift any scientists who might discover it 500 million years later.
chapter 4
Detective Chris Hines was at the museum talking to the curator. A few minutes later, his wife had appeared. This story was bringing in all the local cops who were assigned to have a look. They walked in a single file line in a column perpendicular to the path they were walking which reminded Detective Chris Hines of his days in the homicide department. Although the precision technique being used at taxpayers expense was not to find a murder victim, but a piece of shit. Which struck a few people in the room as ironic.
The Palestinian terrorists were using the shit in which there was a generous amount of in the museum because in addition to the stuff in the display case, they also stole what was in the museum vaults downstairs. The guy who blew up the FBI building in the United States in 1994 used a fertilizer bomb. Basically, shit. Anyone knows gunpowder is made using charcoal, sulphur and ammonium nitrate or fertilizer, or shit. Apparently, dinosaur shit, and in particular that from the Etricerotops species had the explosive power of 100 times that of ordinary shit. This was lighter and easier for the terrorists to conceal. The museum had 785 pounds of Etricerotops coprolites which had all been absconded with by these terrorists.
The plan that had taken the terrorists who called themselves The Decapitated Cobra's Head a year to think out and five hours to physically execute had become unravelled at the airport. They wanted to bring the shit through customs nonchalantly in ordinary Samsonite luggage.
However, a molecular density analyzer which was built in part of the X Ray machine had picked up an alarming molecular density signature. Although nothing in the luggage looked like a bomb, a few security guards had started accreting around the X Ray machine which was flashing a silent telltale light. An alarm code. A few calls to the RCMP had quickly brought Chris and the rest of the RCMP with him including his wife and the Easter bunny who was a material witness for she saw the culprits leave the museum because the street which she was giving out tickets was across the street from the museum.
The Palestinian terrorists were caught at Departure gate 12-G as they awaited a flight to Maui which would transfer to Malaysia and then on to Israel where they were from.
Those terrorists of the Decapitated Cobra's Head learned a valuable lesson on this day: You can't bring shit on airplanes.
Epilogue
A few days later, Detective Chris Hines of the RCMP requested to be transferred back to the Homicide Division.
During his time with the General Crimes Division, he regularly saw his old friends and also the Superintendent of the Integrated Homicide Investigation Team around at the Police Station. They were good people. A few of them even commented that he was talented in homicide investigation and should return to the team.
A new television series called Dexter in which a serial killer joins the Police Department has a scene when the main character was a child. This child killed animals and his father who was a cop who knew the psychological profile knew he had a killer on his hands. The father said to the young Dexter. You have to channel this energy. Kill the people who deserve to be killed. There is a lot of bad people out there. People the Police can't always catch.
These things had influenced Detective Chris Hines decision. However it was finally when he determined that the shit was the last straw. It was a sign that he was not on the right path and should go back to working at homicide.
Dean Noble
March 22, 2008
Dawson Creek
______________________________________________________
Dean Noble
The Dean Noble weekend spectacular continues with another installment in the Police Blotter series.
____________________________________________________
Police Blotter 24
comedy
chapter 1
Corporal Chris Hines of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police was getting the transfer that he requested. He was transferring out of homicide to the General Crimes Division, a broad based department of the Police Services which had wide sweeping powers.
The Integated Homicide Investigation Team which he was a part of always dealt with murderers which is one side of the homicide investigation sciences and then there is always the gruesome sight of the murdered which is the other side of the homicide investigation sciences and the always horrid autopsies that follow. The murderers were really bad people who had bad vibes like someone met in a nightmare.
He wanted to go on to something more positive.
The television news was on. His wife was asleep in the other room. This was her day off. However, it was just about time for Corporal Chris Hines to report to work. He had to go to work in an hour.
There was a series of strange television commercials and news reports and at the end of it all, the good Detective just had to turn off the television.
There was a television commercial about travelling. They were using the refrain from the Eagles song Life in the Fast Lane over and over again. Specifically the line, "Life in the fast lane." And when the verse was sung, all of them a couple coming of out the water after swimming, walking onto a sandy beach.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a couple dressed in a regular bathing suit.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a couple dressed in business attire.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a couple dressed in 1900's bathing suits. The guy with the tank top and the long shorts and the lady with the flounces.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a pair of Muslims, the man wearing a cap and tunic and a woman in a full burkah.
"Life in the Fast Lane" There appears a pair of astronauts in full NASA uniform."
Then there was a News Report.
"A puppy was found at the side of the road near a small town in the interior of the Province three days ago. It had been in the well for a few weeks and only a sudden flood which left the dog near drowned but had allowed its body to somehow float to the surface. The dog was struck one in the side with a car. After walking a few days, it evidently encountered a wild boar which forensic pathologists were able to find a few boar bristles embedded in the side of the dog. Later the dog had come into a person who was physically abusive but luckily the dog, even though in a state of severe physical distress had escaped that person in less than an hour. The dog was struck a couple of more times by a car. Even some guy riding a mountain bike had struck it at one point which did not help the puppies injuries." the News Anchorwoman said sarcastically which the Police Detective detected.
"The dog spent close to 72 hours in the local veterinary hospital. Hopes were good for the dogs recovery. The story was famous in the local community which the dog was found the kennel in which the dog was staying had a few visitors. Some people brought snack bones, and pigs ear chew toys. Things looked real good for that dog."
The NewsAnchorwoman paused for just a second and then said, "Yesterday the dog succumbed to its injuries and died. Incidentally, the dog's name was Lucky."
Detective Chris Hines was disgusted. Why go into all that trouble just to talk about a dead dog?
A new television commercial came on.
"Try a demo. Try a demorol."
That's it, the Police Officer thought. Off goes the T.V..
chapter 2
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police and Easter have always traditionally been closely tied. The World's Largest Easter Egg in Vegreville Alberta was designed and built in 1985 in commemoration of the 100th Anniversary of the RCMP.
On the way to the RCMP Depot, Detective Chris Hines saw a woman dressed in an Easter Bunny outfit on the city sidewalk.
He knew that she was an RCMP Officer and under that bunny uniform was a radar gun that would beep if anyone was going over the speed limit. She and other RCMP operatives handed out a lot of tickets that Easter weekend.
chapter three
At the Police Station, a call had come in. This was a call made to a landline telephone within his departmental segment of the Police Station.
Someone was at the museum. This was no ordinary night at the museum. This culprit had evaded the sophisticated laser lights like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment. In fact, the culprit was a woman who was a Middle Eastern skilled ballerina and rock climber working in league with a group of Palestinian terrorists.
The object stolen was a coprolite which is a fancy word for Dinosaur shit. When Chris Hines heard that, he didn't believe it. All that money, all that time, all that planning only to steal a piece of shit.
However, the piece of shit in question belonged to the extremely rare Etricerotops.
This was a larger version of the classic triceratops, a dinosaur so large that a Doctor of the University of Alberta said that its head was as big as a SmartCar. This Dinosaur in which only one specimen had ever been found was fortunate in its demise enough to leave a general pile of petrified dinosaur shit near its deathsite to gift any scientists who might discover it 500 million years later.
chapter 4
Detective Chris Hines was at the museum talking to the curator. A few minutes later, his wife had appeared. This story was bringing in all the local cops who were assigned to have a look. They walked in a single file line in a column perpendicular to the path they were walking which reminded Detective Chris Hines of his days in the homicide department. Although the precision technique being used at taxpayers expense was not to find a murder victim, but a piece of shit. Which struck a few people in the room as ironic.
The Palestinian terrorists were using the shit in which there was a generous amount of in the museum because in addition to the stuff in the display case, they also stole what was in the museum vaults downstairs. The guy who blew up the FBI building in the United States in 1994 used a fertilizer bomb. Basically, shit. Anyone knows gunpowder is made using charcoal, sulphur and ammonium nitrate or fertilizer, or shit. Apparently, dinosaur shit, and in particular that from the Etricerotops species had the explosive power of 100 times that of ordinary shit. This was lighter and easier for the terrorists to conceal. The museum had 785 pounds of Etricerotops coprolites which had all been absconded with by these terrorists.
The plan that had taken the terrorists who called themselves The Decapitated Cobra's Head a year to think out and five hours to physically execute had become unravelled at the airport. They wanted to bring the shit through customs nonchalantly in ordinary Samsonite luggage.
However, a molecular density analyzer which was built in part of the X Ray machine had picked up an alarming molecular density signature. Although nothing in the luggage looked like a bomb, a few security guards had started accreting around the X Ray machine which was flashing a silent telltale light. An alarm code. A few calls to the RCMP had quickly brought Chris and the rest of the RCMP with him including his wife and the Easter bunny who was a material witness for she saw the culprits leave the museum because the street which she was giving out tickets was across the street from the museum.
The Palestinian terrorists were caught at Departure gate 12-G as they awaited a flight to Maui which would transfer to Malaysia and then on to Israel where they were from.
Those terrorists of the Decapitated Cobra's Head learned a valuable lesson on this day: You can't bring shit on airplanes.
Epilogue
A few days later, Detective Chris Hines of the RCMP requested to be transferred back to the Homicide Division.
During his time with the General Crimes Division, he regularly saw his old friends and also the Superintendent of the Integrated Homicide Investigation Team around at the Police Station. They were good people. A few of them even commented that he was talented in homicide investigation and should return to the team.
A new television series called Dexter in which a serial killer joins the Police Department has a scene when the main character was a child. This child killed animals and his father who was a cop who knew the psychological profile knew he had a killer on his hands. The father said to the young Dexter. You have to channel this energy. Kill the people who deserve to be killed. There is a lot of bad people out there. People the Police can't always catch.
These things had influenced Detective Chris Hines decision. However it was finally when he determined that the shit was the last straw. It was a sign that he was not on the right path and should go back to working at homicide.
Dean Noble
March 22, 2008
Dawson Creek
______________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Northwest Canada Show 4
The Dean Noble Zone.
Northwest Canada Show 4
Part one:
- Intermission -
Part two:
Filmed on March 21, 2008.
Soundtrack:
Part One:
Paul Brown - Dance With Me
GQ - Disco Nights
Part Two:
Alan Parsons Project - I Wouldn't Want To Be Like You
Chic - Everybody Dance
Hall and Oates - Missed Opportunity Live
________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Northwest Canada Show 4
Part one:
- Intermission -
Part two:
Filmed on March 21, 2008.
Soundtrack:
Part One:
Paul Brown - Dance With Me
GQ - Disco Nights
Part Two:
Alan Parsons Project - I Wouldn't Want To Be Like You
Chic - Everybody Dance
Hall and Oates - Missed Opportunity Live
________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Northwestern Canada Show 3
The Dean Noble Zone.
The Third chapter in a Canadian series.
Filmed on March 17, 2008. Walking around.
What the heck. This is my trip. There really are no rules in experimental film. You can use the same shot over and over 500 times, or else you can do an entire series with no shots repeating themselves ever. Some fucker put up a ten hour video of themeself on YouTube playing Stratego with a friend. Another motherfucker put up a
42 hour video which is nothing more than 42 hours of black screen. That's it.
I do strategically put repeating shots in my videos to add a sense of continuity, to create a visual links and for sentimental value. I am probably going to do more videos entitled Northwest Canada Show. I might even do another within the next couple of days. The next one will of course be called Northwest Canada Show 4. I can not resist going through the old video footage in my collection that did not make it in any of the previous movies, I will then insert this footage in with mostly new footage. Each chapter of Northwest Canada Show will have at the very least 85% new footage and 15% footage from the principal photography shoots of my old videos that did not make it in onscreen.
Soundtrack:
Heatwave - Gangsters Of The Groove
Alive and Kicking - Tighter Tighter
The Jacksons - Shake Your Body On To The Ground
Michael Jackson - PYT demo version
________________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
The Third chapter in a Canadian series.
Filmed on March 17, 2008. Walking around.
What the heck. This is my trip. There really are no rules in experimental film. You can use the same shot over and over 500 times, or else you can do an entire series with no shots repeating themselves ever. Some fucker put up a ten hour video of themeself on YouTube playing Stratego with a friend. Another motherfucker put up a
42 hour video which is nothing more than 42 hours of black screen. That's it.
I do strategically put repeating shots in my videos to add a sense of continuity, to create a visual links and for sentimental value. I am probably going to do more videos entitled Northwest Canada Show. I might even do another within the next couple of days. The next one will of course be called Northwest Canada Show 4. I can not resist going through the old video footage in my collection that did not make it in any of the previous movies, I will then insert this footage in with mostly new footage. Each chapter of Northwest Canada Show will have at the very least 85% new footage and 15% footage from the principal photography shoots of my old videos that did not make it in onscreen.
Soundtrack:
Heatwave - Gangsters Of The Groove
Alive and Kicking - Tighter Tighter
The Jacksons - Shake Your Body On To The Ground
Michael Jackson - PYT demo version
________________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Northwestern Canada Show 2
The Dean Noble Zone.
The sequel to NorthWestern Canada Show.
Soundtrack:
Doug And The Slugs - Who Knows How To Make Love Stay
Luther Vandross - Never Too Much
Chic - I Want Your Love
McFadden and Whitehead - Ain't No Stopping Us Now
Joni Mitchell - Chelsea Morning
________________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
The sequel to NorthWestern Canada Show.
Soundtrack:
Doug And The Slugs - Who Knows How To Make Love Stay
Luther Vandross - Never Too Much
Chic - I Want Your Love
McFadden and Whitehead - Ain't No Stopping Us Now
Joni Mitchell - Chelsea Morning
________________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Saturday, March 15, 2008
NorthWestern Canada Show
The Dean Noble Zone.
NorthWestern Canada Show.
A musical moving picture show of this part of the World.
Soundtrack:
Gary's Gang - Keep On Dancing
Heatwave - Grooveline
Heatwave - Boogie Nights
Shalamar - Over and Over
Diana Ross - Sweetest Hangover
________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
NorthWestern Canada Show.
A musical moving picture show of this part of the World.
Soundtrack:
Gary's Gang - Keep On Dancing
Heatwave - Grooveline
Heatwave - Boogie Nights
Shalamar - Over and Over
Diana Ross - Sweetest Hangover
________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Tammy Banfield, CJDC News Reporter
The Dean Noble Zone.
Today, while I was on my way back to my apartment after going for a short walk, on the way there, right in the path, I met Tammy Banfield, CJDC News Reporter. This is her at the very spot and about the time that I met her. I spoke with her for awhile. I was happy to meet her and she seemed happy to meet me.
___________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Today, while I was on my way back to my apartment after going for a short walk, on the way there, right in the path, I met Tammy Banfield, CJDC News Reporter. This is her at the very spot and about the time that I met her. I spoke with her for awhile. I was happy to meet her and she seemed happy to meet me.
___________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Grain Elevator Fire, July 12 2007, Dawson Creek BC
The Dean Noble Zone.
Grain Elevator Fire, July 12, 2007, Dawson Creek B.C.. Includes video and photography of the site eight months after the event.
Soundtrack:
Pointer Sisters - Fire
The Doors - Light My Fire
April Wine - I'm On Fire For You Live In Concert
Arthur Brown - Fire
____________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Grain Elevator Fire, July 12, 2007, Dawson Creek B.C.. Includes video and photography of the site eight months after the event.
Soundtrack:
Pointer Sisters - Fire
The Doors - Light My Fire
April Wine - I'm On Fire For You Live In Concert
Arthur Brown - Fire
____________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Christopher Reeve's Funeral
The Dean Noble Zone.
This is a short film, my first comedy animation, which I did of a story I wrote based on Christopher Reeve's funeral.
Soundtrack:
The Jackson Five; Jason Long http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPg-lJws2MQ - Darling Dear
Hall and Oates - Say It Isn't So
Chilliwack - She's Gone
additional credits:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAwg-FaINkc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPpPBWxKLGc&feature=related
_______________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
This is a short film, my first comedy animation, which I did of a story I wrote based on Christopher Reeve's funeral.
Soundtrack:
The Jackson Five; Jason Long http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPg-lJws2MQ - Darling Dear
Hall and Oates - Say It Isn't So
Chilliwack - She's Gone
additional credits:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAwg-FaINkc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPpPBWxKLGc&feature=related
_______________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Dawson Creek, March 4, 2008
The Dean Noble Zone.
This is a video I made of my walk around Dawson Creek on March 4, 2008. This video features a buffalo farm, horses, Fynnigan's Pub and the pet department at WalMart.
Tomorrow, my computer is going into the shop for a few days.
Soundtrack:
The Spinners - It's A Shame Instrumental
The Spinners - It's A Shame
Kool and the Gang - It's Ladies Night
Earth Wind and Fire - Let's Groove
__________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
This is a video I made of my walk around Dawson Creek on March 4, 2008. This video features a buffalo farm, horses, Fynnigan's Pub and the pet department at WalMart.
Tomorrow, my computer is going into the shop for a few days.
Soundtrack:
The Spinners - It's A Shame Instrumental
The Spinners - It's A Shame
Kool and the Gang - It's Ladies Night
Earth Wind and Fire - Let's Groove
__________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Fort St. John, February 29, 2008
The Dean Noble Zone.
My trip to Fort St John on February 29, 2008.
Soundtrack:
Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
Paul Young - Come Back And Stay
Todd Rundgren - Hello It's Me
Stacy Lattisaw - Jump To The Beat
Soul Decision - Faded
Paul Young - Everytime You Go Away
Sushi restaurant in Fort St John, BC, Canada.
__________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
My trip to Fort St John on February 29, 2008.
Soundtrack:
Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
Paul Young - Come Back And Stay
Todd Rundgren - Hello It's Me
Stacy Lattisaw - Jump To The Beat
Soul Decision - Faded
Paul Young - Everytime You Go Away
Sushi restaurant in Fort St John, BC, Canada.
__________________________________________________________________
Dean Noble
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
